WHY
IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR MEN AND WOMEN TO BE FRIENDS? IT SEEMS SO ORDINARY,AND
TURNS OUT TO BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. EITHER THERE IS AN UGLY COMPROMISE– LIKE MAN
AND WIFE – OR ELSE PASSION THAT EVENTUALLY TURNS INTO HATE. WHY IS
THERE
ALWAYS UGLINESS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN?
It
is very simple to understand. Marriage is the ugliest institution invented by
man. It is not natural; it has been invented so that you can monopolize a
woman. You have been treating women as if they
were
a piece of land, or some currency notes. You have reduced the woman to a thing.
Remember
that if you reduce any human being to a thing – unaware, unconscious – you are
also being reduced to the same status; otherwise, you will not be able to
communicate. If you can talk with a chair, you must be a chair.
Marriage
is against nature.
You
can be certain only of this moment that is in your hands. All promises for
tomorrow are lies –and marriage is a promise for your whole life, that you will
remain together, that you will love each
other,
that you will respect each other till your last breath.
And
these priests, who are the inventors of many ugly things, say to you that
marriages are made in heaven. Nothing is made in heaven; there is no heaven.
If
you listen to nature, your problems, your questions will simply evaporate. The
problem is biologically man is attracted to woman, women are attracted to men,
but that attraction cannot
remain
the same forever. You are attracted to something which is a challenge to get.
You see a beautiful man, a beautiful woman; you are attracted. Nothing is wrong
in it. You feel your heart beating faster. You would like to be with this woman
or man, and the attraction is so tremendous that in that moment you think you
would like to live with this woman forever.
Lovers
don’t deceive each other, they are saying the truth – but that truth belongs to
the moment.
When
lovers say to each other, ”I cannot live without you,” it is not that he is
deceiving or she is deceiving, they mean it. But they don’t know the nature of
life. Tomorrow this same woman will not look so beautiful. As days pass, the
man and the woman both will feel that they are imprisoned.
They
have know each other’s geography completely. First it was an unknown territory
to be discovered, now there is nothing to be discovered.
And
to go on repeating the same words and the same acts looks mechanical, ugly.
That’s why passion turns into hate. The woman hates you, because you are going
to do the same thing again.
To
prevent you, the moment the husband enters the house she goes to bed, she has a
headache. She wants somehow not to get into the same rut. And the man is flirting
with his secretary in the office; now she is an unknown territory.
To
me, it is all nature. What is unnatural is binding people in the name of
religion, in the name of God, for their whole life.
In
a better, more intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any
contracts. It is not a business! They will understand each other, and they will
understand the changing flux of life. They will be true to each other. The
moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say
that the time has come to part. There is no need for marriage, there is no need
for divorce.
Then
friendship will be possible.
There
will be only friends – no husbands, no wives. Of course, if there is only
friendship, passion will never turn into hate. The moment you feel passion
disappearing, you will say good-bye, and it will be understood. Even if it
hurts, nothing can be done about it – it is the way of life.
But
man has created societies, cultures, civilizations, rules, regulations, and
made the whole humanity unnatural. That’s why men and women cannot be friends.
And men and women either become husbands and wives – which is something
absolutely ugly; they start owning each other....
Wow !
ReplyDeleteSo true. Been through all of this and you helped me understand so much better. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Been through all of this and you helped me understand so much better. Thank you.
ReplyDelete