Celebrity's Opinion of “love sucks, lets F**k”

Emblazoned boldly on the chest of a man in his late forties was the t-shirt slogan “love sucks, lets F**k”.  
It made me giggle for a moment then I wondered what made that statement so attractive or relatable to him that he actually felt the need to scream it from his chest. For a lot of people sex is just a function, a need to be fulfilled and yet for many it’s synonymous with love.
 It takes an embittered person to want to only have sex and deliberately do away with all notions of love and to not even entertain the thought of a heart being involved! It’s a common belief that for women love leads to sex and that for men sex leads to love. 
I find that generalisation itself puzzling, because it either alludes that women fall in love before men do or that men fake being in love to get sex or that women compromise and have sex hoping to get the man to fall in love with them. 
The fact is that none of it really matters as long as the end result is a happy fulfilling unison, be it just for the sake of sex or because people happen to fall in love. 
The only sad part is in believing that love sucks. Because it truly doesn’t! Love is a magic ingredient. It makes for healthy relationships and ups the ante in your sex life too. Don’t let the fact you made a few wrong choices get to you.

 A defeated or cynical attitude doesn’t serve you. A heart may heal in hibernation, but it is meant for loving. Go out there, spread love, find love and experience love.

--- Pooja Bedi

(Pooja Bedi is a popular personality across all Media. In films, newspapers, television, theatre and digital media. )

Do you beg for attention..all the time?

People go on doing things which they never wanted to do, but they go on doing them because that is the only way they can get the approval of others. Everybody is distracted from his destiny.

The thinking up to now has been this – that the individual exists for the society so the individual has to follow just what the society says. He has to fit with the society. That is the definition of the normal human being – to fit with the society. Even if the society is insane, you have to fit with it; then you are normal. Even if the society is neurotic and you try to be sane, you will be thought neurotic because the society is the majority. They have power so they can make anybody feel guilty.

They have put a deep mechanism inside you which they call a conscience which, if you move slightly away from the norm, the accepted rules of the game, immediately says, ’Wrong! Wrong! You are doing something wrong!’ Now the problem for the individual is that nature demands one thing and society demands something contrary. If the society was demanding the same as nature demands,there would have been no conflict. Man would still have remained in the garden of Eden.

The problem arises because society has its own interests which are not necessarily in tune with the individual and his interests. Society has its own investments. The individual has to be sacrificed.

This is a very topsy-turvy world. Just the other way round should be the right thing. The individual does not exist for the society. The society exists for the individual. Because society is just an institution. It has no soul.

 An individual has the soul, is the conscious centre; it has a centre.

God resides in the individual, not in the society. Society is nothing – just a word.

Once you know that miserliness can be dropped, you move into a different dimension.

Much will be happening, much more, and gratitude prepares the way. Feel as grateful to existence as possible – for small things, not only for great things... just for sheer breathing. We don’t have any claim on existence, so whatsoever is given is a gift. If it is not given we don’t have any court for appeal.

So grow more and more in gratitude and thankfulness ; let it become your very style. Be grateful to everybody.

If one understands gratitude then one is grateful for things that have been done positively. And one even feels grateful for things which could have been done negatively. You feel grateful that somebody helped you; this is just the beginning. Then you start feeling grateful that somebody has not harmed you – he could have; it was so kind of him.

Once you understand the feeling of gratitude and allow it to sink deeply within you, you will start feeling grateful for everything. And the more grateful you are, the less complaining, grumbling.

Once complaining disappears, misery disappears. It exists with complaints. It is hooked with

complaints and with the complaining mind. Misery is impossible with gratefulness. So that is one of the most important secrets to learn.

You see a person and you smile. You smile for him. One should smile only for oneself. If others share, good. If nobody shares, good. But one should smile of one’s own accord. One should not laugh to make somebody else happy, because if you are not happy, you cannot make anybody happy. Even if you are happy, it is very difficult to make somebody else happy because it depends on that somebody else as to whether he will accept it or not. One should simply laugh of one’s own

accord, and one should not wait for reasons to laugh. That too is absurd. Why wait for reasons? Life as it is should be enough of a reason to laugh. It is so absurd, it is so ridiculous. It is so beautiful...

it is so wonderful. It is all sorts of things together. It is a great cosmic joke.

If you start looking into things you will not be able to stop laughing. Everything is simply perfect for laughter – nothing is lacking – but we won’t allow. We are very miserly... miserly about laughter,

love, life. Once you know that miserliness can be dropped, you move into a different dimension.

Marriage is the ugliest institution invented by Man,Marriage is against nature.

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR MEN AND WOMEN TO BE FRIENDS? IT SEEMS SO ORDINARY,AND TURNS OUT TO BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. EITHER THERE IS AN UGLY COMPROMISE– LIKE MAN AND WIFE – OR ELSE PASSION THAT EVENTUALLY TURNS INTO HATE. WHY IS

THERE ALWAYS UGLINESS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN?

It is very simple to understand. Marriage is the ugliest institution invented by man. It is not natural; it has been invented so that you can monopolize a woman. You have been treating women as if they

were a piece of land, or some currency notes. You have reduced the woman to a thing.

Remember that if you reduce any human being to a thing – unaware, unconscious – you are also being reduced to the same status; otherwise, you will not be able to communicate. If you can talk with a chair, you must be a chair.

Marriage is against nature.

You can be certain only of this moment that is in your hands. All promises for tomorrow are lies –and marriage is a promise for your whole life, that you will remain together, that you will love each

other, that you will respect each other till your last breath.

And these priests, who are the inventors of many ugly things, say to you that marriages are made in heaven. Nothing is made in heaven; there is no heaven.

If you listen to nature, your problems, your questions will simply evaporate. The problem is biologically man is attracted to woman, women are attracted to men, but that attraction cannot

remain the same forever. You are attracted to something which is a challenge to get. You see a beautiful man, a beautiful woman; you are attracted. Nothing is wrong in it. You feel your heart beating faster. You would like to be with this woman or man, and the attraction is so tremendous that in that moment you think you would like to live with this woman forever.

Lovers don’t deceive each other, they are saying the truth – but that truth belongs to the moment.

When lovers say to each other, ”I cannot live without you,” it is not that he is deceiving or she is deceiving, they mean it. But they don’t know the nature of life. Tomorrow this same woman will not look so beautiful. As days pass, the man and the woman both will feel that they are imprisoned.

They have know each other’s geography completely. First it was an unknown territory to be discovered, now there is nothing to be discovered.

And to go on repeating the same words and the same acts looks mechanical, ugly. That’s why passion turns into hate. The woman hates you, because you are going to do the same thing again.

To prevent you, the moment the husband enters the house she goes to bed, she has a headache. She wants somehow not to get into the same rut. And the man is flirting with his secretary in the office; now she is an unknown territory.

To me, it is all nature. What is unnatural is binding people in the name of religion, in the name of God, for their whole life.

In a better, more intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any contracts. It is not a business! They will understand each other, and they will understand the changing flux of life. They will be true to each other. The moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say that the time has come to part. There is no need for marriage, there is no need for divorce.

Then friendship will be possible.

There will be only friends – no husbands, no wives. Of course, if there is only friendship, passion will never turn into hate. The moment you feel passion disappearing, you will say good-bye, and it will be understood. Even if it hurts, nothing can be done about it – it is the way of life.

But man has created societies, cultures, civilizations, rules, regulations, and made the whole humanity unnatural. That’s why men and women cannot be friends. And men and women either become husbands and wives – which is something absolutely ugly; they start owning each other....

Meritocracy -The system of Future Governing

HOW CAN THE IDEA OF MERITOCRACY BE PRACTICALLY REALIZED?

ONE thing is absolutely certain: The days of the politicians are over.

They have done too well their job of being destructive, violent.

They have come to a point where humanity has to decide either to die remaining with the politicians, to commit a global suicide, or to throw out the politicians and save humanity, civilization, culture, life.

Nothing is favorable to the politician; and as each day passes his death comes closer. He himself

is responsible. He improved the weapons which can bring death to the whole world to such a point

that there is no way of going back. Either there will be an ultimate war – which means death to all and everything – or a total change in the whole structure of human society. I am calling that change,meritocracy.

One thing – we have to drop the idea that every man, just because he is Eighteen, is capable of choosing who is the right person to decide the fate of nations. Age cannot be the decisive factor.

We have to change the decisive factor; that is changing the very foundation.

My suggestion is that only a person who is at least a matriculate should be able to vote. His age

does not matter. And as I explain to you the whole thing, it will become easier. For the local

government, matriculation will be the qualification for the voters. And graduation from a university,at least a bachelor’s degree, should be a necessary qualification for anybody running for election,for the candidates. A master’s degree should be a minimum qualification for the one who is running for mayor.

I have seen education ministers who have never been to university. Before they became education

ministers they had never even seen a university campus. Yes, after becoming education minister

they start giving convocation addresses to the universities. Universities start giving them degrees,

honorary degrees, because actually they are not even matriculates.

Then just because you are Eighteen it does not mean you are capable of choosing the government. Choosing the government should be a very skillful, intelligent job. Just by being eighteen you may be able to reproduce children – it needs no skill, even animals are doing perfectly well. It needs no education, biology sends you well prepared. But to choose the government, to choose people who are going to have all the powers over you and everybody and who are going to decide the destiny of the country and the world... the way we have been choosing them is simply idiotic.

And what power do politicians have? All the power that they have we have given to them. We can take it back. It is not their power, it is our power. We just have to find a way to take it back – because giving is very easy, taking is a little difficult. They will not be so simple and innocent when you take the power back as they were when they were asking it from you. It is our power, but they will go on having it if the mob remains there to give it to them; the mob can be convinced about anything.

I am not against the people. In fact, in the hands of these politicians, the people are against

themselves. I am all for the people, and what I am saying can be said to be exactly what has

been said about democracy: for the people, by the people, of the people – just ”by the people” I will have to change. This intelligentsia will be for the people, of the people. It will be serving the masses.

It is so simple a thing. You don’t elect a doctor, that just anybody can stand, it is a birthright, and

people can vote. Two persons fighting to be the doctor or to be the surgeon? What is wrong in it?

The people choose for themselves: for the people, by the people, of the people. They choose one

person, a surgeon, because he speaks better, he looks good on the television and he makes great

promises.

But he is not even a butcher! – and he is going to become a surgeon. He is not even a butcher.

Even a butcher would have been better; at least he would have known how to cut, and finish you.

This man... but you don’t choose a surgeon by election.

How can you choose a president by election? How can you choose a governor by election? You

are giving so much power to power – hungry people; with your own hands you are telling them to

hang you! This is not democracy. In the name of democracy these people have been exploiting the masses.

Just to make a distinction I am calling this system meritocracy. But merit for what? The merit

is to serve and share. And once you have decided to shift the power from the politicians to the

intelligentsia, everything is possible – everything becomes simple.

Then I want every university to have two compulsory institutions, because that is the way I would

like the people who are going to be powerful to be prepared.

Right now, up to now, for thousands of years you have never prepared anybody. If somebody is going to be a boxer you don’t just push him into the ring and say, ”Start!” He has to learn. If somebody is going to be a swordsman, it will take him years. Otherwise he won’t even know how to hold the sword – using it and fighting with it will be impossible. First he will have to find out how to take it out from its sheath, how to hold it. It needs training. You don’t just give a guitar to somebody who has never seen the instrument before and expect him to be an Expert.

Now this is your fault: these people who are in power, have you trained them? Has anybody ever

thought that the people who will be holding so much power need some certain qualities so that they don’t misuse power? It is not their fault.

So I propose two institutes in every university. One institute is for deprogramming. Anybody who

gets a graduation certificate will first have to get a clearance certificate from the deprogramming institute – which means it has deprogrammed you as a Christian, as a Hindu, as a Mohammedan, as a Jew... because this has been our trouble.

And four years is enough time. Deprogramming does not take that much time; just a few hours a

month for four years and you will be deprogrammed. And you will not get any certificate from the educational institute unless you are cleared by the deprogramming institute that ”this man is now simply a human being. He is no longer a Christian, no longer a Hindu, no longer a Mohammedan, no longer a Jew.”

The second institute will be an institute for meditation, because just deprogramming is not enough.

Deprogramming takes rubbish from you, but you are left empty – and it is difficult to be empty; you will start gathering rubbish again. You cannot manage by yourself to learn how to live joyfully with your emptiness. That’s the whole art of meditation.

So on the one hand the deprogramming institute cleanses you, empties you, makes you a vacuum;

and the meditation institute goes on helping you to enjoy your nothingness, your emptiness, your

inner vacuum its cleanliness, its freshness. And as you start enjoying it you start feeling that it is not

empty at all, it is full of joy. It looked empty at first because you were accustomed to having so much rubbish in it, and that rubbish has been removed so you say it looks empty.

It is just like a room full of furniture: you have always seen it full of furniture; then one day you come and all the furniture is removed and you say, ”The room looks empty.” The room is not empty, the room is simply clean. The room is roomy for the first time. It was cluttered before, burdened, full of rubbish; now it is pure space.

You have to learn meditation to enjoy your emptiness.

And that is one of the greatest days in life – when a person starts enjoying emptiness, aloneness,

nothingness.

Then nobody can reprogram you, nobody in the world.

The university’s degree will come only when a clearance certificate from the deprogramming institute and a graduation certificate from the meditation university have been granted. It will depend on you– you can graduate in one year, you can graduate in two years, you can graduate in three years, four years. But four years is too much. Any imbecile, if he just sits for one hour every day doing nothing for four years is bound to find what Buddha or Lao Tzu have found, what I have found.

And I want this to continue: if you are going to do your Ph.D. then you do three years deprogramming and three years meditation. Those are compulsory to the very end, so when you come out of the university you are not only an intelligent person, well-informed, you are also a meditator – relaxed, silent, peaceful, observant, watchful, intuitive. And you are no longer a Christian, no longer a Hindu, no longer an American, no longer a Russian. All that bullshit has been completely burned, nothing is left of it.

This is the only way, to replace the politicians by the intelligentsia.

Never make love a politics, a power struggle.

A gift of love out of freedom is beautiful. When you possess a person and the person is forced to give her love, it is almost ugly, almost dead, full of hatred. If you feel unhappy, tell her not to worry and that it has nothing to do with her. Never make love a politics, a power struggle.

When love gives freedom it becomes tremendously powerful repression. People don’t understand and that’s why they have chosen repression. Freedom means that both are free. But people have decided to repress it because they know that if the woman moves, the man is allowed to; if the man moves, the woman is allowed to. Rather than being free they have decided to be slaves. People have decided to be slaves in order to make others slaves.

So just think about it. Meet out of your freedom, stay together out of your freedom, and when you are feeling good, be together. Both drop all repressions and let’s see what happens, and that power is not ordinary power. It is very very graceful and has a totally different quality to it – magnetic, but almost divine.

Your action is punishment and your action is your reward. You are the master of your destiny."

There are many legends about the Bodhidharma; they all have some significance. The first legend is: When he reached China -- it took him three years -- the Chinese emperor Wu came to receive him. His fame had reached ahead of him. Emperor Wu had done great service to the philosophy of Gautam Buddha. Thousands of scholars were translating Buddhist scriptures from Pali into Chinese and the emperor was the patron of all that great work of translation. He had made thousands of temples and monasteries, and he was feeding thousands of monks. He had put his whole treasure at the service of Gautam Buddha, and naturally the Buddhist monks who had reached before Bodhidharma had been telling him that he was earning great virtue, that he will be born as a god in heaven.

Naturally, his first question to Bodhidharma was, "I have made so many monasteries, I am feeding thousands of scholars, I have opened a whole university for the studies of Gautam Buddha, I have put my whole empire and its treasures in the service of Gautam Buddha. What is going to be my reward?"

He was a little embarrassed seeing Bodhidharma, not thinking that the man would be like this. He looked very ferocious. He had very big eyes, but he had a very soft heart -- just a lotus flower in his heart. But his face was almost as dangerous as you can conceive. Just the sunglasses were missing; otherwise he was a mafia guy!

With great fear, Emperor Wu asked the question, and Bodhidharma said, "Nothing, no reward. On the contrary, be ready to fall into the seventh hell."

The emperor said, "But I have not done anything wrong -- why the seventh hell? I have been doing everything that the Buddhist monks have been telling me."

Bodhidharma said, "Unless you start hearing your own voice, nobody can help you, Buddhist or non-Buddhist. And you have not yet heard your inner voice. If you had heard it, you would not have asked such a stupid question.

"On the path of Gautam Buddha there is no reward because the very desire for reward comes from a greedy mind. The whole teaching of Gautam Buddha is desirelessness and if you are doing all these so-called virtuous acts, making temples and monasteries and feeding thousands of monks, with a desire in your mind, you are preparing your way towards hell. If you are doing these things out of joy, to share your joy with the whole empire, and there is not even a slight desire anywhere for any reward, the very act is a reward unto itself. Otherwise you have missed the whole point."

Emperor Wu said, "My mind is so full of thoughts. I have been trying to create some peace of mind, but I have failed and because of these thoughts and their noise, I cannot hear what you are calling the inner voice. I don't know anything about it."

Bodhidharma said, "Then, four o'clock in the morning, come alone without any bodyguards to the temple in the mountains where I am going to stay. And I will put your mind at peace, forever."

The emperor thought this man really outlandish, outrageous. He had met many monks; they were so polite, but this one does not even bother that he is an emperor of a great country. And to go to him in the darkness of early morning at four o'clock, alone.... And this man seems to be dangerous -- he always used to carry a big staff with him.

The emperor could not sleep the whole night, "To go or not to go? Because that man can do anything. He seems to be absolutely unreliable." And on the other hand, he felt deep down in his heart the sincerity of the man, that he is not a hypocrite. He does not care a bit that you are an emperor and he is just a beggar. He behaves as an emperor, and in front of him you are just a beggar. And the way he has said, "I will put your mind at peace forever."

"Strange, because I have been asking," the emperor thought, "of many many wise people who have come from India, and they all gave me methods, techniques, which I have been practicing, but nothing is happening -- and this strange fellow, who looks almost mad, or drunk, and has a strange face with such big eyes that he creates fear.... But he seems to be sincere too -- he is a wild phenomenon. And it is worth to risk. What can he do -- at the most he can kill me." Finally, he could not resist the temptation because the man had promised, "I will put your mind at peace forever."

Emperor Wu reached the temple at four o'clock, early in the morning in darkness, alone, and Bodhidharma was standing there with his staff, just on the

       steps, and he said, "I knew you would be coming, although the whole night you debated whether to go or not to go. What kind of an emperor are you -- so cowardly, being afraid of a poor monk, a poor beggar who has nothing in the world except this staff. And with this staff I am going to put your mind to silence."

The emperor thought, "My God, who has ever heard that with a staff you can put somebody's mind to silence! You can finish him, hit him hard on the head -- then the whole man is silent, not the mind. But now it is too late to go back."

And Bodhidharma said, "Sit down here in the courtyard of the temple." There was not a single man around. "Close your eyes, I am sitting in front of you with my staff. Your work is to catch hold of the mind. Just close your eyes and go inside looking for it -- where it is. The moment you catch hold of it, just tell me, `Here it is.' And my staff will do the remaining thing."

It was the strangest experience any seeker of truth or peace or silence could have ever had -- but now there was no other way. Emperor Wu sat there with closed eyes, knowing perfectly well that Bodhidharma seems to mean everything he says. He looked all around -- there was no mind. That staff did its work. For the first time he was in such a situation. The choice... if you find the mind, one never knows what this man is going to do with his staff. And in that silent mountainous place, in the presence of Bodhidharma, who has a charisma of his own.... There have been many enlightened people, but Bodhidharma stands aloof, alone, like an Everest. His every act is unique and original. His every gesture has his own signature; it is not borrowed.

He tried hard to look for the mind, and for the first time he could not find the mind. It is a small strategy. Mind exists only because you never look for it; it exists only because you are never aware of it. When you are looking for it you are aware of it, and awareness surely kills it completely. Hours passed and the sun was rising in the silent mountains with a cool breeze. Bodhidharma could see on the face of Emperor Wu such peace, such silence, such stillness as if he was a statue. He shook him and asked him, "It has been a long time. Have you found the mind?"

Emperor Wu said, "Without using your staff, you have pacified my mind completely. I don't have any mind and I have heard the inner voice about which you talked. Now I know whatever you said was right. You have transformed me without doing anything. Now I know that each act has to be a reward unto itself; otherwise, don't do it. Who is there to give you the reward? This is a childish idea. Who is there to give you the punishment? Your action is punishment and your action is your reward. You are the master of your destiny."

Bodhidharma said, "You are a rare disciple. I love you, I respect you, not as an emperor but as a man who has the courage just in a single sitting to bring so much awareness, so much light, that all darkness of the mind disappears."

Wu tried to persuade him to come to the palace. He said, "That is not my place; you can see I am wild, I do things I myself don't know beforehand. I live moment to moment spontaneously, I am very unpredictable. I may create unnecessary trouble for you, your court, your people; I am not meant for palaces, just let me live in my wildness."